Is that even a real disorder or did you just make it up as an excuse?

Above is a picture I recently posted on my Tumblr blog as part of my Selective Mutism Problems series. I still remember the first time I was accused of this. It was in my second or third year of secondary school. The class had a supply teacher that day and was in a different classroom to normal for some reason or another so the other students were even more hyper than usual. 

While the poor supply teacher was attempting to restore some kind of order to the cluster of unruly teenagers, I was trying my best to go unnoticed as always when two girls - one whom I went to primary school with but didn't know much about (for the sake of anonymity I will refer to her as J) and the other who seemed to have a habit of hassling me (M) - got out of their seats and approached me. I had had a little rant about my selective mutism on a certain social networking site the night before and they - or J at least - seemed to have seen it.

“Do you really have that disorder...selective mutism, was it?” she asked me.

I began to nod but her attention was swiftly taken away from me and given to M who loudly announced, “She probably just made it up.”

“No,” J said patiently. “I looked it up online - it’s real.”

“Well, she probably just went onto Wikipedia and made the page herself.” M alleged. She looked as if she wanted to say more but J promptly shushed her.

“What? What?” M kept repeating as J hurried her back to their table, seemingly oblivious to how accusing someone of fabricating their disability could be offensive in anyway.

I’ll be honest, I was angry. At the time I wanted to get up and shout in her face, though I couldn't for obvious reasons. How could she erase my experiences like that? How could she erase the experiences of everyone who has or ever has had selective mutism? How could she just simply dismiss a condition she knew nothing about?

Then I realized I had answered my own question; she knew nothing about it. M could just effortlessly toss the condition aside because she was ignorant about it. Of course I don’t know for sure that she would be any more understanding if she were more knowledgeable on the subject however I feel that a large amount of the stigma directed at individuals with selective mutism is due to misunderstanding. Erroneous ideas like they are choosing not to talk to be manipulative, they are rude, they are defiant etc..

The fact is the majority of people don’t know what selective mutism is and that is one of the reasons why we need awareness. No-one should have to be accused of fictionalizing something they struggle with on a daily basis.

Selective mutism awareness is important so try to be as educated on the subject as you can and get the word out there!